The Elf Off the Shelf: A Christmas Tradition Gone Bad Horace the Elf

Author Bio

Horace the Elf (North Pole) has been a professional elf for many years; his main duties have included suspicions and judgmental tendencies toward children around the world. Now, he's looking out for number one, which doesn't involve the shelf life.

Summary

"I honestly did believe this shelf gig was going to be great. 'Get out and see the world,' they said. 'Experience the joy of wide-eyed kids, holiday cheer, and the Christmas spirit,' they promised. 'Finally leave your parents' basement for once in two hundred and sixty-seven years,' they told me. I was sold. "And off I went. As a member of Santa's spy squad, I headed down south for the holidays to help the big guy decide who's naughty and who's nice. It was going to be a wonderful change of pace from the screwing, hammering, sanding, painting, and wrapping happening in Ol' St. Nick's workshop. "Or so I thought ...--Horace the Elf In this for-parent's-eyes-only parody of the popular holiday title, The Elf on the Shelf, readers laugh along with Horace as he goes AWOL from his Christmas duties. This photo-story set to verse is the unauthorized (and hilarious) tale of one disgruntled little helper with a gift for making mischief.

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